White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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