The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
