not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
