I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
