the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
