My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
