it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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