And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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