So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
