there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
