I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
