I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
