Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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