I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
