did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
