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• (909): View more from California

  It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity

  (909): View more from California

  Something's gotta give!

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• (914): View more from New York

  vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!

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• (818): View more from California

  his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up

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• (904): View more from Florida

  all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Am I supposed to find that romantic?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.

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• (530): View more from California

  now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home

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• (530): View more from California

  Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories

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• (714): View more from California

  You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?

  (801): View more from Utah

  You know me so well.

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