Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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