I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
