Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
