I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
