I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
