She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Operation Purity has been aborted
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
