I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
