Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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