please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
