Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so let's talk penis.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
