I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
