Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
