Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
