Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
