Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
