Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
