idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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