its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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