he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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