i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
