shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i need an iv and a liver transplant
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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