sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Did I show you my penis last night?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
