Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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