didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
