just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
