i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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