i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This baby is an asshole
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
