This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's never too late to be topless.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
