the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
