I think I died a long time ago.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
