He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
