Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
