After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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