like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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